Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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