So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
