Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
