Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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