What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
