I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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