I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
