Porn is love you can see.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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