We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
