What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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