Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My life is pants optional.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
