The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
