Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
