YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
