We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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