i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize