how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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