Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I could fuck to npr.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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