remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
