dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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