and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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