question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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