She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
