...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
