Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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