she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
