There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
