how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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