She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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