i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
