It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
