And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
