I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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