I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
