New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
