I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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