he wants to bone in the snuggie
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
