found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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