Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize