Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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