I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
