Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
