why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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