In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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