He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
