I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
