Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
