I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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