ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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