Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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