i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize