I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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