Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
