but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
