she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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