I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
