I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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