What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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