I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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