Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
