I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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