I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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