I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
