I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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